真正的程序员

   * Real Programmers don't comment their code. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand and even harder to modify. 
     真正的程序员不写注释。难写的程序天生难以理解、难以修改。

   * Real Programmers don't write application programs; they program right down on the bare metal. Application programming is for feebs who can't do
     systems programming. 
     真正的程序员不写应用程序。他们爱白手起家。只有不懂写系统程序的
     软弱者才写应用程序。

   * Real Programmers don't eat quiche. In fact, real programmers don't know
how to SPELL quiche. They eat Twinkies, and Szechwan food. 
     真正的程序员不吃蛋卷。他们根本不屑也不懂拼“quiche（蛋卷）”这个词。
     他们吃twinkies和四川菜。
     注：twinkies可能是某种用两片面包片夹着的食物。

   * Real Programmers don't write in COBOL. COBOL is for wimpy applications programmers. 
     真正的程序员不用cobol写程序。cobol是让胆小鬼用的。

   * Real Programmers' programs never work right the first time. But if you throw them on the machine they can be patched into working in "only a few" 30-hour debugging sessions. 

     真正的程序员总爱留些臭虫。只有将他扔回电脑旁，他才肯低头。他们只
     需几次就能调试好程序，但每次“只”需要30小时。

   * Real Programmers don't write in FORTRAN. FORTRAN is for pipe stress freaks
     and crystallography weenies. 
     真正的程序员不用fortran写程序。fortran是让科学怪人用的。

   * Real Programmers never work 9 to 5. If any real programmers are around at
9
     AM, it's because they were up all night. 
     真正的程序员不朝九晚五。如果你在早上见到一个象盲流一样的程序员，
     那是因为他整晚工作。

   * Real Programmers don't write in BASIC. Actually, no programmers write in
     BASIC, after the age of 12. 
     真正的程序员绝不用basic。如果你只有十二岁，你只管用，
     你真的只有十二岁？！！

   * Real Programmers don't write in PL/I. PL/I is for programmers who can't
     decide whether to write in COBOL or FORTRAN. 
     真正的程序员不用PL/I。如果你竟在用cobol还是用fortran上犹豫，
     那你干脆做个彻底的笨蛋算了－－用PL/I吧！

   * Real Programmers don't play tennis, or any other sport that requires you
to
     change clothes. Mountain climbing is OK, and real programmers wear their
     climbing boots to work in case a mountain should suddenly spring up in the
     middle of the machine room. 
     真正的程序员不玩需要换装的运动，比如网球。
     登山是最好的了，他们工作时总穿着登山鞋，而且他们觉得会有一座
     山在机房中央隆起，然后他们就能方便地爬上去。

   * Real Programmers don't document. Documentation is for simps who can't read
     the listings or the object deck. 
     真正的程序员不写文档。文档是让看不懂源程序的笨人准备的，而他们
     不喜欢笨人。

   * Real Programmers don't write in BLISS, or ADA, or any of those pinko
     computer science languages. Strong typing is for people with weak
memories.
     真正的程序员不用bliss、ada这类婴儿语言。记性差的人喜欢敲键盘，
     真正的程序员记性都很好。

   * Real Programmers only write specs for languages that might run on future
     hardware. Noboby trusts them to write specs for anything homo sapiens will
     ever be able to fit on a single planet. 
     真正的程序员只为未来机器上用的语言写标准。鬼才会相信有哪个星球会
     用他们的标准。

   * Real Programmers spend 70/% of their work day fiddling around and then get
     more done in the other 30/% than a user could get done in a week. 
     真正的程序员花70％的时间无事生非，然后用剩余的时间完成别人要一个
     星期才干完的事。

   * Real Programmers are surprised when the odometers in their cars don't turn
     from 99999 to 9999A. 
     真正的程序员很诧异于他们小车上的里程表不会从99999跳到9999A。

   * Real Programmers are concerned with the aesthetics of their craft; they
     will writhe in pain at shabby workmanship in a piece of code. 
     真正的程序员很关心他们写的代码的艺术性。一小段蹩脚的代码都
     会让他们寝食不安。

   * Real Programmers will defend to the death the virtues of a certain piece
of
     peripheral equipment, especially their lifeline, the terminal. 
     真正的程序员会捍卫他们的生命线－－网络。

   * Real Programmers never use hard copy terminals, they never use terminals
     that run at less than 9600 baud, they never use a terminal at less than
its
     maximum practical speed. 
     真正的程序员从不用慢modem。他们不用低于9600bps的modem，事实上，
     他们不用任何低于极限速度的modem。

   * Real Programmers think they know the answers to your problems, and will
     happily tell them to you rather than answer your questions. 
     真正的程序员知道你所遇到的问题，他们不会等你发问。

   * Real Programmers never program in COBOL, money is no object. 
     真正的程序员不用cobol编程，金钱如粪土。
     注：不知所云！

   * Real Programmers never right justify text that will be read on a
     fixed-character-width medium. 
     真正的程序员将文本写得错落有致。

   * Real Programmers wear hiking boots only when it's much too cold to wear
     sandals. When it's only too cold, they wear socks with their sandals. 
     真正的程序员爱穿凉鞋，就算天气变冷，他们也只是再穿上袜子而已。
     只有寒风彻骨时，他们才会换上跑鞋。

   * Real Programmers don't think that they should get paid at all for their
     work, but they know that they're worth every penny that they do make. 
     真正的程序员并不奢求取得每一分该得的钱，但任何拿到手的钱都
     问心无愧。

   * Real Programmers log in first thing in the morning, last thing before they
     go to sleep, and stay logged in for lots of time in between. 
     真正的程序员每天只需记录起床后的第一件事和睡觉前的最后一件事，
     之间的一切照套模板即可。

   * Real programmers don't draw flowcharts. Flowcharts are after all, the
     illerate's form of documentation. 
     真正的程序员不画流程图。流程图是文盲写的文档。

   * Real Programmers don't use Macs. Computers which draw cute little pictures
     are for wimps. 
     真正的程序员不用MAC机。能画可爱的卡通的电脑是给胆小鬼用的。

   * Real Programmers don't read manuals. Reliance on a reference is the
     hallmark of a novice and a coward. 
     真正的程序员不看使用指南。只有初学者和胆小鬼会百分百相信手册。

   * Real Programmers don't write in COBOL. COBOL is for gum chewing twits who
     maintain ancient payroll programs. 
     真正的程序员不用cobol。cobol只能用来维护远古的工资程序。

   * Real Programmers don't write in FORTRAN. FORTRAN is for wimpy engineers
who
     wear white socks. The get excited over finite state analysis and nuclear
     reactor simulations. 
     真正的程序员不写fortran程序。fortran是让畏缩的白领工程师用的。
     那些人只钟情于有限的状态分析和核反应堆模拟。

   * Real Programmers don't write in Modula-2. Modula-2 is for insecure
     analretentives who can't choose between Pascal and COBOL. 
     真正的程序员不用modula-2编程。modula-2集合了pascal和cobol的缺点。

   * Real Programmers don't write in APL, unless the whole program can be
     written on one line. 
     真正的程序员不写apl程序，除非他能在一行内把一个程序写完。

   * Real Programmers don't write in Lisp. Only effeminate programmers use more
     parentheses than actual code. 
     真正的程序员不用lisp编程。只有女人气的程序员才会用的括号比代码还多。

   * Real Programmers distain structured programming. Structured programming is
     for compulsive neurotics who were prematurely toilet trained. They wear
     neckties and carefully line up sharp pencils on an otherwise clear desk. 
     真正的程序员鄙视结构化编程。结构化编程是让过早被训练怎样上厕所
     的强迫性精神病患者用的。那些人在工作前要打好领带，然后小心翼翼
     地在另一张书桌上削铅笔。

   * Real Programmers scorn floating point arithmetic. The decimal point was
     invented for pansy bedwetters who are unable to think big. 
     真正的程序员鄙视浮点运算。十进制是为蠢人而发明的。

   * Real Programmers know every nuance of every instruction and use them all
in
     every Real Program. Some candyass architectures won't allow EXECUTE
     instructions to address another EXECUTE instruction as the target
     instruction. Real Programmers despise petty restrictions. 
     真正的程序员深谙指令之间的细微差别，而且非在写的每一个程序中
     都体现出来不可。有些编译器不允许EXECUTE指令象对目标指令那样
     对另一个EXECUTE指令寻址。真正的程序员对这种限制熟记于心。

   * Real Programmers Don't use PL/I. PL/I is for insecure momma's boys who
     can't choose between Cobol and Fortran. 
     真正的程序员不用PL/I。PL/I是让偎依在妈妈身边的小男孩在无法
     从cobol和pascal中选择时用的。

   * Real Programmers don't like the team programming concept. Unless, of
     course, they are the Chief Programmer. 
     真正的程序员不爱与人合作，除非自已是主程序员。

   * Real Programmers have no use for managers. Managers are sometimes a
     necessary evil. Managers are good for dealing with personnel bozos, bean
     counters, senior planners and other mental defectives. 
     真正的程序员对经理来说一无用处。但经理却是不可或缺的魔鬼。经理
     能摆平那些有心智缺陷的人，比如那些资深的策划者（他们很爱“教导”
     程序员们）。

   * Real programmers ignore schedules. 
     真正的程序员不按日程表办事。

   * Real Programmers don't bring brown bag lunches to work. If the vending
     machine sells it, they eat it. If the vending machine doesn't sell it,
they
     don't eat it. 
     真正的程序员不带午餐上班。有得吃就吃，没得吃就饿着。

   * Real Programmers think better when playing Adventure or Rogue. 
     真正的程序员在冒险和滋事时脑子最聪明。

   * Real Programmers use C since it's the easiest language to spell. 
     真正的程序员用C，因为C是最容易拼的语言，只有一个字母。

   * Real Programmers don't use symbolic debuggers, who needs symbols. 
     真正的程序员不用符号化的调试器，因为它竟需要符号。

   * Real Programmers only curse at inanimate objects. 
     真正的程序员只诅咒死气沉沉的东西。